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Nov. 1st, 2006 @ 02:50 pm I HATE DOING NOTHING!!

Ok so i have had 3 days off and of course dealing with the evilness of the stomach flu but i think it is finally leaving me. i should be practicing and should be, i dont know, being active but i know that i had to stay in bed and close to a bathroom. well that is all going to change! it is a fact of life that i am now seeing the effects of being poor and that i need some form of stability. i am deciding what to do about next year and if i should return to finish this grey cloud known as a DMA.

i have also come to terms that i shall be a lonely person and that i need to find other hobbies to keep me occupied. i think i am suffering from cabin fever!

actually, i dont really know what the symptons are of cabin fever and if one of the requirements is to actually live in a cabin. i don't think i have EVER been to an actual cabin.

what is funny is that i am beginning to grow tired of law and order reruns. i think i have seen all of them.

ok i am done but i figured it is going to take some form of discipline for me to get back into the LJ world. honestly, i think i got caught in the myspace world that i let this go to the way side.

THANK YOU COWBOYMARINE for welcoming me back...no one else remembers me...datz sad!

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Oct. 31st, 2006 @ 10:28 am OK SO HERE I AM

Current Mood:

sick

YEP! Through the help of a friend I was told to come back and try the LJ world one more time. It has been since May I believe since I last wrote. So a little flashback I guess is in order. I wont go too much into detail since i need to transition slowly.

OK so...from June to the first week of July I was teaching at the Midwest Music Camp. This is year number 6 and I have to admit that it went well. They had me teaching not only the Musical Theatre class plus also an Art Song class which i was suprised I was teaching because no one told me that there was even such a class. So I had 2 days to put my shit together and started with Italian diction and art song and made them actually work and made two kids cry because they thought that this was hook-up camp and didnt have their shit together. Musical theatre went really well and only managed to make one kid cry since he didnt have his monologue learned and was not paying attention to the choreography.

ok moving on

From July to the end of August I was performing with Opera North in Lebanon, NH. I was performing the role of Manrico in Verdis Il Trovatore which at that point was the biggest role I have ever Tackled. I will admit it was busting my balls but at the end it went really well and got offered a contract for next year as well as an agent interested in my career. Alas, I said no to both because I had already committed to Minnesota Opera for the upcomg season.

ok

September until now...I have been performing with Minnesota Opera all this time. I think I really like the city...I wouldnt know because they work us like freakin animals. We jumped right into the first show as soon as we all got here and the part that killed all of us is that none of us received the music for the first two shows UNTIL we got here. That kicked my assbecause I am covering one of the leads in La donna del lago and it is NEVER performed and I have not sung Rossini in like years and it killed to learn it and even more nervous becuase the guy was getting sick and there were 6 performances. Needless to stay I only had to perform at the opera dialogues so I only had to sing one of the arias but seriously, I would NEVER, EVER do this role but they were happy and I was ready to move on.

Originally the biggest reason I accepted this contract was because I was given the opportunity to perform the role of Hoffman in the Tales of Hoffman by Offenbach. This is one of the 5 biggest roles in the tenor repertoire and I was scared but you know I was ready for the challenge. What I did not expect is that they would wait until I got here for them to give the music especially since they knew back in Aprl what edition they were using but did not bother to tell anyone. SO I HAD 3 WEEKS TO LEARN AND MEMORIZE 400 PAGES of French. Mind you I can sing in French but this is ALOT of French. Well somehow through hell and back I did it and performed it to a sold out house (The Ordway Center...seats about 1300 people I believe).

So now...I have the stomach flu which sucks ass and i am worried that it is tape worm.

OK so that is sort of kind of all in a nut shell. hope some of you say HI!!!

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May. 31st, 2006 @ 03:47 pm reaching

ok here is my list:

last two weeks i performed 20 shows all over upper new england. it was a pain but paid my beels. sang for a bunch of high schools and rich patrons. it went well evnthough i am not well.

NOT WELL AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

i am taking more than a week off from singing BUT i still need to make some money so i am teaching 6 lessons this week eventhough i am not supposed to even talk because my voice is not well.

NOT WELL AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

i think i found an apartment in minneapolis. it is a 25min bus ride to where i need to be but it is twice as cheap as if i lived a block away BUT this means nothing if my voice is fucked up. Yep REALLY fucked up! i cant sing, there is no reason for me to move there.

NOT WELL AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

because i have been so depressed, i have not worked out in almost two weeks and have eaten everything within my reach but sometimes i dont eat anything at all (like today).

the very thing that is a major part of who i am might be taken away from me and if it is then i do not know what to do.........

i did too much! i sang too much, i taught to much, i took for granted my little vocal chords.

it is my fault
my fault my fault

i hav an appointment with a specialist tomorrow. I HOPE ITS NOT CANCER (GOD i hope not)

i figured i should write something since it is the last day of the month and i have only written one other entry in this month.

let's see what happens

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May. 17th, 2006 @ 12:35 am Yeah it's been awhile

but serious no one really gives a shit if i am on or not BUT i do miss it...i'll come back soon.

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Apr. 16th, 2006 @ 07:03 pm Feliz dia de pascua

so first of all for those that believe...HAPPY EASTER!

for those that don't...HAPPY SUNDAY!

so why is that (and maybe my fashion mentor goody can answer this question) every seems to want to wear pastels on easter? sitting and staring at the congregation i saw ALOT of pastels and it was making me rather ill.

sorry i have not been so diligent in writing. i have been doing the whole easter singing as well as opera rehearsing. my voice is tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired and i think that the reason it is getting so tired is that i am also getting killed by allergies that is irritating my reflux.

also, i am beginning to think that i need to go see a shrink again. even with the ambien i am staying up until 3-4am every night and of course have to get up early for work and the such.

today i had to get up at 6am for church which i had to sing for 4 services and that wrecked me big time but at least it will be a good paychck.

so i have alot of music to learn. have you ever had so much to do that you stress out and you end up doing absolutely nothing? thats the stage where i am at... the funny thing is that my workouts have been going really well and all my students are doing really amazing, but my own singing has been suffering. a buddy today told me that maybe i just need to take a day off and do nothing. well...it seems like an idea but i hate being idle.

i feel like there is an empty void in my life right and the only thing that i have which is my voice is falling part. i need to get my shit together...MOTIVATE!

ok i am off like a prom dress

xoxo

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Apr. 12th, 2006 @ 12:33 am ok I shall proceed

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. choral director
2. music librarian
3. private voice teacher
4. professional opera singer

Four nicknames I've been given:
1. Hug-o
2. Huge-o
3. Juicer
4. Heeoogo

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Pride and Prejudice
2. Labyrinth
3. Big fish
4. The Lord of the Rings compulation

Four places I have lived:
1. Salt Lake City, UT
2. Ann Arbor, MI
3. Lawrence, KS
4. El Paso, TX

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Law and Order SVU
2. Sports center
3. Charmed
4. Cold Case Files

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Sydney, Australia
2. Berlin, Germany
3. Barcelona, Spain
4. Warsaw, Poland

Four people I could not live without:
1. John Stephens (my voice teacher)
2. (insert your name here)
3. Jeff Hall(my roomate and friend)
4. Overall, all my friends both here in Lawrence and in lj world that have been a comfort and influence in my life

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Buffalo wings
2. Thai Food
3. Chicken
4. Cinnamon rolls
Basically, I LOVE spicy food which is the main reason I take nexium (the purple pill)

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. NYC
2. Salt Lake City
3. I am actually happy to be in good ol' Lawrence, KS
4. In Portland so I can meet some of the very kewl peeps that I have met through LJ

Four folks who[m] I have tagged:
No one since I think it's a pain and it makes you look like a major tool.

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Apr. 9th, 2006 @ 11:23 pm this is your brain...

sorry it has been awhile but its not like my life is so exciting that the viewing public wants to know the dealings of an opera singer in the state of kansas.

well, basically my life has consisted of rehearsals which has taken approx. 4hrs of my time a day. the majority of the time is me just seating there for 3 of those hours and doing nothing. what is the show you ask? well is no other than mozart's the marriage of figaro. just in case some of you did not know, it is the 250th anniversary of mozart's birth. so obviously every opera company and choir shall be doing a mozart piece for the entire year of 2006.

i did have a chance to party it up on friday and was a bad little soldier. i ended up smoking some pot which i have not touched for a veeeeeeeeery long time. but i shall say that i had a great time. that is not to say that i regretted the next day. it shall be a very long time since i do that again.

on saturday i ended up attending to a friend's party. he plays for the university of kansas football team so when i showed there was nothing but muscle guys and very hot girls. since i have to work at 6:30am i did not drink but needless to say that there was alot of eye candy. of course i recognized a huge portion of everyone there since they are all the gym every single time i'm at the gym. i feel very inadequate but everyone was rather complmentary of my muscle develpment. now, if i could only lose 20-30 pounds.

today i woke up and did the church thing. after that, i taught 3 lessons and then was supposed to sit on my ass for the world of opera rehearsal but i was not needed so instead i went ahead and listened to one of my student's new cd which is being released in he next month and wanted some criticism. it was really good! i also fell bad because the kid owes me over $900 in voice lessons. he is working on a loan to be able to pay me. i am patient and he is a good guy so i know thay i will be paid....hopefuly.

i just took an ambien and hope that it will kick in soon. the weather is changing and for those in portland land tallywhack and hmhrsh can tell you that the allergies are attacking on full force.

so i have nothing but a shit load of rehearsals next week and of course since it is holy week i am singing with the church choir for services.

ok so it has been a while BUT at the request of lavidatirante i shall proceed with the infamous prop list since i have not done it in a loong time

major major super duper props

lavidatirante- for making the move and for being who he is and if you dont like it then you can fuck off!
hmhrsh- for taking one for the team and screwing up his ankle. that is kick ass!
ameline- for her job interview in nyc
krypticleo- for getting wet with coffee and still getting asked to be in other volleyball teams
sleeplesslylost(sp)- for realizing that we need to be humble and that in itself is a shining quality
cowboymarine- for fighting that damn beast and winning
tallywhack- you overcame a sticky situation and have washed your hands clean
goody- for being a damn work horse

ok i am going to lie there and wait for the world of ambien to transport me.

xoxo

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Apr. 5th, 2006 @ 11:43 pm i'm leaving on a jet plane

so i have lost all motivation. i need to step it up sonce now the clock begins and i have work until 2007. I have 5 shows to learn in 3 months!!! i still don't feel like i am singing well but everyone seems to be stating the complete opposite and i should trust that. i believe my voice is in transition.

my concerts went really well last night and again some people have told me as to why am i still in kansas.

why am i still in kansas?

because well... i love lawrence!

but there are also some very unhealthy reasons as to why...

- i am a big fish in a little pond. i am known and people respect me for my singing
- i am afraid of the unknown. i have finished two degrees here and have good friends and connections. i am soooooo scared of starting over.
- my voice teacher is here. he has helped me not only vocally but also mentally. he has been my biggest fan and has been there when i have been nervous and a wreck.
- i love the town and the enviroment. people for the most part are friendly and open.

but

i am leaving and i am scared of just being alone. i know i will meet new people and i will adapt to the lovely twin cities. but i feel soooo comfortable here. its like a warm blanket.

so fucking scared!

just took half an ambien...hopefuly it will kick in soon.

xoxo

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Apr. 3rd, 2006 @ 11:19 pm (no subject)

I just finished watching Waiting for Guffman....Parker Posey rocks my world! Every movie that I have seen her in has always made me laugh.

I need to rent Best of Show again and also A mighty wind.

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Apr. 3rd, 2006 @ 10:50 pm a couple of things

LJ Interests meme results

avocados:
I love them just as much as I love ranch dressing. Plus, its good for the skin.
coffee talk:
It is a way for me to connect with friends on weekly basis.
friendship:
More important to me than my family
laughing:
I love to laugh eventhough it does not happen as much as I would like
loyalty:
I am as loyal as Old Faithful. I promise to be there if I can and will sacrifice myself for my friends and brothers.
marguaritas:
The more the merrier
music:
If music be the food of love, play on!
musicals:
Life is a cabaret ol' chum...come to the cabaret!!!!!!!
opera:
the highest of all arts!
period films:
its a form of escapism...Pride and Prejudice (A & E version)

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.

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Apr. 2nd, 2006 @ 09:31 pm one hour makes a whole lot of difference

ok so yeah it happened...i woke up late for the infamous church gig. my cell did not switch over like it supposed to until like noon so when i woke up at 6:30am to get ready for church but little did i know it was 7:30! so me and my bud jeff who shares my misfortune ran like bats out of hell and missed the first service. luckily our asshole of a director must have gotten sex because he just laughed and said it was ok.

i then went to the dress rehearsal for a gig that i am singing on tuesday. it went rather well and our voice teacher was very pleased. i have to concerts on tuesday and somehow i am going to sing one then run out and sing at the other one.

i taught two voice lessons and then met some friends for some mexican. i really wanted a margarita but i decided to detox myself from the weekend.

i need to change my eating habits...like for example eat at least 3x a day as opposed to the lovely one time at 9pm when i am done with everything.

i need to buckle down and finish learning the marriage of figaro and start learning il trovatore.

i wish my life was much more exciting but it is what it is and deal haha!

you are all great people!

xoxo

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Apr. 1st, 2006 @ 10:29 pm two ibuprofens and call me in the morning

well... i am back in good ol' kansas. as soon as i stepped out the allergies attacked with full force. but the weather was amazing and i am glad that i came from nice weather to nice weather..

now about new york...

the one thing that always ends up happening is that i become very self conscience of my looks. especially this time around. because my friends are in the fashion and magazine business i met some very good looking people...ALOT of models. Chris's boyfriend is getting ready to do a photo shoot in miami and then in italy and all the models gathered to talk and have a good time. they were all beautiful and very friendly, especially when they found out i was a proffesional opera singer.

i did suck it up and payed to go to the gym when i was there. so being so freaked out about my self image made me suck it up and pay 40 bucks to use the gym for two days.

i met up with some friends that went to kansas and we went out and painted the town with ALOT of alcohol. went to this really great restaurant called Fiorellos which is across the street from lincoln center. they serve their drinks with a major kick, then after that we somehow went up t 125th street and went to a bar where all the musicians hang out and drank even more then somehow i ended up in two other bars that were in the east village...i looked at the clock and it was 5am.

i had a great time and it kind of lifted me up. i am glad to be taking a break from traveling. i discovered in my trip that i have been concentrated so much on my students that i have let go of my own stuff...that needs to change.

also, i need to change my diet but i do enjoy pastrami sandwhiches too much...

well i am going to try and go to bed early since it is time change and i have church.

i am also bummed that me and koopy did not communicate sooner BUT koopy i did make a toast and drank in your honor.: )

tomorrow is a long day...

xoxo

i wish i could remember the names of these bars but frankly i was fubared! i got up still drunk and packed my stuff and took a cab to the airport and pretty much slept the entire way back.

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Mar. 30th, 2006 @ 12:07 pm New York state of mind

well i have been here now for two days and have had the lovely opportunity of meeting some old friends. the weather is really beautiful and i guess the allergies have not attacked...YET!

my audition was today and of course i had to wake up at 6am to go work out and start warming up. i am actually staying with a friend of mine that i have not seen in like 5 years. he has a nice confy apartment in the east village which he shares with his boyfirend and roomate. the have been amazing hosts and i am planning on taking them out to dinner. as far as my audition? well...it went soso...it wasnt amazing but i did not crash and burn...it's like shit that never happens...happens and stuff that you have problems with felt easier. i don't know, i need to let it go...if they like me, they shall call me if not...well...fuck em'

so i am meeting some friends for lunch today and then more friends for dinner tonight. i kinda want to go to a club or something. i mean, most of the time when i am in nyc it is for auditions and shit like that so i have to live like a nun but now i have all this free time. i always admire people that take the leap and move to the city. i just cant see myself living here but as far as auditions this is the place to be. well no matter, i at least know that i will living in the frozen rotunda of minnesota for the next year...i am thankful for this gig!

i was hoping to meet koopy but i think he is very busy and he probably thinks i am a weird person but oh well maybe some other time. i was going to buy a birthday drink so tonight i shall have a drink like a did for hevel to honor his birthday.

ok i am going to take a little nap and then some food.

xoxo

ps i have a dilemna but i dont think i can post it but i need some advice....

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Mar. 28th, 2006 @ 01:05 am works like a dream

so i got a new prescription of ambien. took one last night and it knocked me off my ass. it has been a while but i just cant stay until 4am anymore. did i take one tonight? nope...i'm kinda scared but i will take it for sure while in NYC.

my audition is at 10am...@#$%^&*!

that means i have to wake up at 7 at the latest and start warming up BUT the cool thing is that i will have alot of free time. might go the met... hopefuly i'll see some of my nyc friends. it sucks because this is week 3 of my traveling in the month of march.

i have a voice lesson tomorrow to review some of my arias. i need to figure out what i am singing. i went over 4 of the arias today and for the most part they are still there.

i taught 4 lessons today and ill teach 4 more tomorrow. i need to be careful i dont teach too much because it takes alot out of me vocally. i sound like such a freakin' pussy complaining like that but i have to take care of it.

went to the gym and lifted pretty intense. i just went up to 265 today but i went pretty intense. i just figured i try and do as much since i am going to be gone for the rest of the week.

ok i am going to try and crash since i have to be up in 6 and a half hours.

you are all awesome!

xoxo

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Mar. 27th, 2006 @ 01:17 am i think its kinda close

How You Life Your Life

You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness.

You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.

You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.

You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.

How Do You Live Your Life?

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Mar. 26th, 2006 @ 12:38 am the time is ticking away

well i am entering my last day of spring break...was it productive? not really but it was productive in the way that allowed me to rest my voice and body.

now i need to get back to the grind.

tonight i went to a choral concert...in reality they are called the Heartland Men's Chorus (aka the kansas city gay men chorus) they did this whole tribute to judy garland. the reason for me going is that i actually know the muscial director of the group and he invited me to attend. i was truly impressed and the arrangements were pretty impressive. they performed alot of her music from shows like meet me in st louis, a start is born and of course the wizard of oz.

last night i received a call from one of my private voice students. we have been getting him ready for grad school auditions and changed alot of the technique that his previous teacher had him doing. all his auditions went well and i was pretty nervous because he was the first student i taught that wanted to go into a grad program in voice. well...he called me and told me that he just got offered a full tuition vocal grad scholarship to arizona state university...SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!

he called me to tell me that and then told me that if it werent for me he wouldnt of gotten anything...it made me feel so good and just kind of tells me that teaching is going to be my end goal. i have 2 students who are having cds released in the next couple of weeks.

i am getting ready for my trip to NYC on wednesday...one thing i can say about myspace, i have been able to find people i have not spoken to in a loooong time. i was trying to add goody as a friend but i guess he wont have it so theres that.

but i now have ameline, sylvurgrl, lavidatirante and hrhmrsh as friends. i am seriously thinking on visiting portland just to meet these people but also i actually have some friends that live there already.

i need to see if some of my lj friends have myspace.

well i shall leave you all...i appreciate all of you...thank you for your insight and comments...you have been very good for me. keep commenting.

xoxo

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Mar. 22nd, 2006 @ 06:07 pm do you all think its weird?

ok so i am in day 2 of this myspace thing and i am wondering why the hell people i do not know (not counting lj friends) want to add me as their friend?

for example...there is this 14 yo kid who e-mailed me and wants to add me as their friend...wtf! i of course denied his ass. plus all these chicks are wanted me to add them and i do not know who they are so i e-mail hem and ask who the hell are they and how did they find my profile.

so i went to bed at 4am and woke up at 12 i guess i am taking this spring break seriously but i am teaching some voice lessons tomorrow and i have to go to my church gig tonight. i am being a good boy and not drinking until this nyc audition is over but i just feel so damn ashamed that i am not being productive.

it is my last spring break forever and i should be experiencing something but the only exciting thing in my life at this moment is this myspace fiasco...lame huh. i can't even work out today because the gym is closed. for shame for shame!

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Mar. 21st, 2006 @ 11:23 pm ps

Current Music: singet dem herrn--j.s. bach

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHANN SEBASTIAN BACH

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MUSIC FOR AWHILE

There's a tenor in my head

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